I work at a center where I teach technology all day. We mainly work with elders, and people who
have very limited experience with computers.
We rarely go past the basics, and spend most of our time doing things
like opening a document, and saving a document.
It is a fun job, and a fairly good environment.
The only drawback is that the older people that I work with
love to bring food. They make a lot of
comments about my weight, as older people are wont to do about everyone, and
they bring food to the lessons.
Sometimes they bring bags of cookies and crackers, but sometimes they
bring muffins and cakes; Nothing even remotely on my safe foods list, of
course. I have worn out the “I’m not
hungry” excuse, and they pressure me a lot, especially if it’s someone I’ve
been working with a while.
One woman in particular seems to have picked up on the fact
that I avoid food at all cost, and she asks me directly if I want to eat
certain things. She asks me about my
favorite foods, and brings versions of those foods that I would never eat in a
thousand years. For example, I told her
I sometimes like to eat yogurt, and she has started bringing these yogurts to
work that are full of fat and sugar. The
kind with syrup drizzled throughout, granola on the side, etc.
It makes me feel uncomfortable, but more than that, it
contributes to terrible binge/purge cycles, because I eat something that
someone brings, (usually under social pressure), and then I feel like absolute
shit about myself, and end up purging it.
Fortunately I do not think any of the elders at my work, even this one wily
old food offering woman, has picked up on my purging trips.
All of this food pressure usually takes place twice during
the day, during morning, and afternoon break times. Staff and students basically share a break
space, and everyone sits or stands around and eats or drinks coffee. My strategy for this is to always bring
something for break time, whether it is something safe to eat, or just being caught
up in a cup of coffee. I unfortunately
cannot drink diet soda because of a sensitivity to aspartame, so that is out of
the question. I am one of the staff
members tasked with monitoring the break room, so it’s a situation I can’t
really get out of.
I am running out of time to finish this post, to sum things up, I “binged”,
I mean for me I binged, on those Ritz Bits sandwich crackers today at break,
and then had a lot of trouble purging. I
also know my husband is going to want to go out to dinner, so I’m struggling with
anxiety and freaking out a bit. I know this isn't a big deal, but I'm honestly stressing about a few things, and they are kind of building up.
